We've had some changes in our house. Emily came to live with us a few weeks ago. We put her in the school here in town and she did fine for a few days. About a week in, she decided to cut at recess. She was doing it with an audience and one of the boys asked her if it hurt and she said no, so he asked her to cut him too. She did.
Of course the principal was calling rather quickly for us to come get her. She said she couldn't allow Emily back at school for at least 3 days, and then it would need to be re-evaluated. We took her for a psychiatric evaluation that evening. Our stance was sort of that she was just trying to get attention, impulsive and didn't really know how big what she did could get. With that, we thought our best recourse would be to have her checked out. I took her to the only one I knew for sure was on her insurance. They decided to admit her inpatient. Ok. Shock to me.
During the admitting, we discovered some things we had no idea about. We didn't even know to ask them up front, really. We have been so clueless. Anyway, Emily said that about a year ago, she tried to kill herself by taking too many pills. She said her mother knew about it, having found out several weeks prior when she was admitted to an outpatient program in the city she lived before here. She also admitted to having cut a year prior and that was known, also. We were led to believe that the cutting was a recent development and that her mother found out about it the day before we did. Not during admission, but just a couple of days before everything really hit the fan, I asked Emily and she told me that she has had sex with two different partners.
Her Dad had to come sign her in because I am not a legal guardian. He ended up missing work that night because he was up way too long to stay up all night.
I ended up going to group therapy the next morning without him because of his schedule. On the way there, I was praying about her and a bit upset. I was telling God that I just didn't sign up for all this mess. He reminded me quietly that I did. He said that step kids are the same as adopted kids. I chose them when I married their dad and I will continue to choose them for the rest of our lives. They didn't get a choice in the matter, but I did and I can't go back on that. I saw in a moment the similarities to His choosing me. It doesn't matter what I do or how I am, He chose me and continues to choose me. It's easy to continue to choose Emily when I see how that works with Him and me. She is my child and I love her. And I want her. Anyway, once I saw all that in a flash, He told me to tell her that. When I got there for group therapy/visitation, I told her. She seemed to get it and appreciated it.
Since that day, we've been outpatient twice and we're on our third inpatient admission. She went back again last night. She's been with us now for 3 1/2 weeks and most of that has been with her at the hospital.
We've so far learned a lot and I still have a lot to write about, but I'll have to do it later. That is, of course, if I don't forget.
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